going back on time

there are choices that i've made so far and that i regret. truth be told, there are many choices i wish i didn't do looking back on time and on what happened.

moving out of town, it was my idea, and i couldn't image if it would've been another way. because i'm a tough cookie and i know it wouldn't have been easy. i learned so much!! i learned on how to behave, i learned to be less shy, i learned a whole bunch of new things.. i tasted freedom every single day. i learned to dress better, to look better. i had the opportunity to meet wonderful people.. but still, i don't know if i made the right choice.

whether i admit it or not, i feel lonely in coimbra. i don't get intimate with anyone.. i miss saying 'i love you' to my friends and hug them. i miss coffee with my girls, every single break. i miss all of us, together.
here i would stand out of the crowd just for being who i was, i was the pretty girl. in coimbra, i just feel like a regular girl.. someone that goes unoticed forever. that's the problem with big cities, i guess. dressing pretty or not, i feel the same. i won't make someone jealous of my pretty clothes because guess what? there's people dressing better, looking better and that people notice better.
here i'd be different now.. i'd be so much more happy.

or maybe.. i wouldn't. things are so different now. it's not only the class that has changed, the people have changed too. and people's feelings have changed even more. maybe, if i was here, i'd be destroying my most precious memories from 9th grade.. and i believe that those will always remain as the best memories!
if things were the way they were back in my 9th grade, i'd be so happy here. i'd have a perfect boyfriend, i'd have very good friends, i'd be the pretty girl around, the popular one who everyone loves but right now.. i'm just the wierd kid, in a foreign town, which i don't consider that mine anymore.

life goes on.