sunny came home

It sucks when you can no longer come back to what you left! We're no longer a group, we're just people spread all over, some here, some there..

And it hurts when you can no longer relate to where you grew up and the people you grew up with. IT HURTS.

YOU HAVE MY HEART SO DON'T HURT ME

why should i worry?

people change, and sooner or later you'll realize it. and you'll be surprised with some changes.. seriously.
so apparently, now everything that mentions "L." is a big huge drama and all about traitors and cowards and ugh. i'm really glad i got over it! it's just.. insane

the cookies and i

this week i went from 56.6kg to 58kg. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
what i did was just change my breakfast, which became porridge, banana and cinnamon instead of toast and coffee or milk. it was supposed to be healthier but it isn't!! 1.5kg is a lot for me.. and i can see it in my but cheeks. it's not fair.. :(
i also started doing some sit ups and we know that muscular mass weights more but seriously? i need to get my 56.6 back! i just don't know if working out is a good idea or if eating healthy would do..

this week i'll be eating entirely healthy food. no cookies or cakes, no chocolate! and we'll see how this works. if it doesn't, i'll work out like crazy and eat healthy too so that i can be a skinny bitch again :)

are you killing me?

i've forgotten how good those songs were. how peaceful and how touching.. and most of all, how it was me in all of those songs. gloomy grave-yard girl or happy Mia, i felt every of those beautiful words. and i've forgotten.. i've forgotten how easy everything was. how perfect it'd been for me.

it hurts and i feel so much like crying. it burns every little piece of me, and i'm left with nothing but some ashes.

i'm going back to that, i'm going back to myself. and i've missed it so much.

no use

there's no use in beeing sad, in feeling bad and mad at the world. there's really no use..
you know, it's ok to scream and cry, to die a little inside everyday, but at the end of the day you'll realize that life's good. it's good to be alive, to feel and to scream and cry.
at the end of the day, you'll realize that if only you would open up and feel, good things happen. no only to good people but to you, to everyone else.

it's real, good things happen all the time.

what happened?

you hurt me and i still go on. i don't feel like giving up (on myself) or anything. i just feel like i've got to live and i've got to go ahead and make my life happen.

even though it's not the happiest moment, i'm proud of myself. i have the heart of a lion.